The Wiccan Christian

About a week prior to June 13, “Joe” admitted to putting malware on my laptop when we were dating. He said it started out as a joke. They didn’t realize I would react the way I did.

Joe put malware on my laptop. I knew someone had done something to my electronics. The malware got into my phone and iPad, since all were synced together.

I kept blaming it on the wrong person. He made it look like somebody else was doing it. While I was busy harassing the person I thought it was, he was laughing at me. This lasted well over a year. Nobody believed me because of my bipolar diagnosis. They thought I was hallucinating and having delusions. Part of it may have been. I’ve never had a delusion before, until that. Doctors didn’t think I was taking my medication, so they forced shots on me, which really wasn’t a bad thing. I didn’t have to remember or take meds every day. So it was pretty convenient. Even though the med they were sticking me with increased my anxiety level more.

I could sit and be angry about this. Maybe even unforgiving. But you know what I realized through all of this? That man is not right in the head.

He said he did it because I was spending less and less time with him, and well, I guess he wanted all of my attention.

The only grudge I still hold is he stole my intuition for six (6) years. And I now have it back! I spent six (6) years living in hell because I didn’t think I could trust my own judgment anymore. But now that I know the truth I feel vindicated. I feel like I can trust myself again. And my gut feelings.

I’m in the process of writing a memoir. I talk in depth a little more about this and Joe and how he hurt me.

But he can’t hurt me anymore. I know he thinks he can. But he can’t. And for by the grace of God I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. And I’m over it.