How do you make time for self-care?
It’s not always easy to take time for self care. But it is as vital as breathing, in my opinion.
Self-care, for me, is about slowing down, It probably took a year of diligent persistence. But once I got the habit down it has become a way of life for me. The last treatment center I was at got me started. Mediation and yoga. I grew to like both. I kept up with the yoga until about a year ago. Maybe more like three years ago 🤔 But my meditation time is really important to me.
I know everybody spends their self-care time differently. My self care consists of a lot of meditation music. I really don’t watch much TV anymore, so my TV is pretty much for mediation purposes only. Unless I get company.
I know people may think it’s a hard habit to keep up on a daily basis. I guess I’ve isolated myself for such a long time that meditation is all I know as a coping skill now. So my TV stays on meditation most of the time.
I normally burn a candle and some incense. I prefer incense cones over the sticks. You can get a big box of twenty little boxes that carry ten cones in each box at Amazon for a lot cheaper than the $4.99 for just one box of ten cones at any of the local shops.
My fav’s are Dragons blood, Copal, Frankincense, Lavender, White Sage, Palo Santo and a few mystery” ones.
I set up my room prior to my meditation time with music, candles and incense. Sometimes I’ll smudge the doorway and myself with lavender sage. I’ll play one or two of my “instruments” for more area cleansing.
Not to change the subject, but I believe I have enough “instruments” to do a sound bath for someone. That’s something I’ve been really interested in pursuing. I’ve watched some on YouTube. I think I’ve got six or seven sound makers: 🤔 a keyboard, large singing bowl, small singing bowl, small wind chimes (like tiny), drum and tuning forks.
Back to self-care: During my self-care time I read a chapter out of the Bible most mornings. Right now I’m somewhere in the book of Romans.
And Yes, call me what you want, but after reading some of the Lords words I prepare for a tarot card reading. And I do invite them into the readings. Who’s who you wonder??
Jesus and the Holy Spirit, as well as my angels, guides and ancestors.
I don’t read cards like most people do (I don’t think 🤔). I mainly use the cards to see how I’m feeling regarding any particular situation. I use them more for reflecting. They help me process my thoughts after a draining day. A lot of times I just ask if there’s anything I need to know that I can share with other people.
I’m by far a pro or guru at anything. I just go with my instincts.
I have this cute little jar that a friend of mine gave to me. It has sayings or bible verses or quotes in it. You pick the color paper that your mood most matches.
I keep this at my bedside. It’s the first thing I do. This morning I pulled a pink card. I read it then placed it on my alter until tomorrow morning.
Lastly, sometimes my self care consists of a salt bath with a book lamp for light, a candle and an incense STICK. Cones give out more smoke than sticks do. My bathroom is too small for a cone. I’d smoke myself out. I usually bring my Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom with me as well. Sometimes I listen to country music and sometimes I just listen to podcasts (or tarot readings 😏). I don’t take any of that stuff like I used to. The first time these YouTuber’s started talking to/about me behind my back, at that time I couldn’t believe what I was seeing or hearing. I couldn’t believe they were actually talking directly to me. They were harassing me and bullying me, trying to get me to submit and get back together with “that man”. They were really really mean.
I have a mental health disability. I actually have a few mental health disabilities. What absolutely blows my mind about that whole situation back in 2018-2020, That he could look me in the face and lie so well. He could pretend to be “so concerned”. There were plenty of times when he would ask me, “Are you thinking about killing yourself? I sure hope not Cindy. That would really break my heart”. He knew those tarot readers were telling me to just end my life, and he played along with with this “innocent” facade. And for what? A joke. I’m sorry I don’t associate with wicked people. I’ll keep praying for him, but I now know he is a …….. I don’t know if I should even say it. A narcissist and a sociopath.
And he thought I was the one that was nuts. Well, it’s only a matter of time and he’s going to receive his karma for the pain I was caused. I may not see it in my lifetime, but God has given me his promises: He got me out of that situation right on the nick of time. He knew I didn’t and don’t belong there. He has other assignments for me he said.
I do feel I’ve finally been able to move past the manipulation and forms of abuse. Emotionally, mentally and tragically. it took many years, like eight years to be at peace with myself. And no, that does not include peace with him. And it seems he’s trying to push my buttons again, because my two phones, my iPad and my Wi-Fi is constantly showing somebody hooked into my internet and it’s not me.
It seems there is normally six or seven devices connected to my internet, and they’re not all mine. So, if they pester me too much I just bump them off the internet then change my Wi-Fi password to a really long damn ass password. And if wants to spend his time keeping an eye on me, what for? I am clueless. He no longer likes me, as a matter fact hates me, for catching him in a lie. And the funny part about it was, if I remember correctly I texted him a couple of times through the day. I also called him. I left messages, They weren’t mean or like I was pissed or anything, because he wasn’t answering me. But I now believe the “other” story he always prided himself on, “My dad cheated on my mom all the time, and I hated how he hurt her so much. I told myself I would never, ever cheat on a person, and I never have”.. Little does he know I know his little dirty disgusting secrets and ways.
So to sum this long-ass story up, after knowing him since November 2017, I realize I really do NOT know him, and I never did. Everything he said to me was a lie, just to get sex from me. Whenever we parted after an encounter he always went MIA on me. With some really messed up excuses.
June 13, 2026 I Finally caught him in a lie. I knew he was a pathological liar, because nothing he said ever added up. But finally, one day when my text messages and phone calls caught him off guard I guard I guess. He didn’t return my call or texts until 11:30pm when he decided to return my messages and phone call. It was so late I was tired and the VM pick it up. To my surprise he did leave a message.
“Hey, Cindy, it’s “Joe”. I just found my phone. I know you’re probably already sleeping, but I thought I’d call while I’m out walking the dog, Call me if you get this in the next half hour.
Nope, I went to bed.
So, in conclusion I don’t see him or I connecting any time too soon. Probably never again. And I am secretly grateful. Him walking away first made my own choices I had to make so much easier. I did feel a sigh of relief. I didn’t want to have to make a choice between him and my family. They all very much we despised him. Not just for the things he put me through, but that he had gained access to all of my contacts on my phones.
Okay, the end
(To be continued)
