The Wiccan Christian

Hope, Healing and Happiness in Trauma Recovery

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Welcome to The Wiccan Christian. I’m sure many people wonder, “What exactly does that mean?” The truth is, I’m not sure there’s an official definition. If there is, I suppose that’s what I am. Hi, my name is Cindy. I created this blog to be something like a diary—a place to share my thoughts, favorite quotes, Bible verses, spiritual reflections, and the little things I’ve learned along the way. Some of these ideas are my own. Others have come from people whose words stayed with me long after I heard them. Together, they’ve helped shape the person I am today. I won’t promise that this blog will be perfectly organized because, quite honestly, I’m not an organized person. What I can promise is honesty. My hope is that by sharing my experiences, someone else might feel understood. Maybe you’ll see a piece of your own story in mine. I believe that sharing our stories takes away fear, replaces judgment with understanding, and reminds us that none of us are truly alone. I’ve lived through some incredibly beautiful moments, and I’ve also experienced some of life’s deepest wounds. Those experiences have left scars that may never completely disappear, but they have also shaped my strength, my faith, and my compassion for others. I don’t define myself by what I’ve been through. I define myself by the fact that I’m still here, still growing, still learning, and still believing there is hope. I’m a survivor. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you’ll stay awhile, and I hope something you read here brings you comfort, encouragement, or simply reminds you that someone else understands. Welcome.

Everything

What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?

I grew up in a very violent home. That’s probably why I don’t recognize when I’m being abused. Now that I understand narcissistic behavior a little better I strongly suspect both of my parents have and had Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

My father passed away in 2009. But my mother is still alive. Her and I do not have a relationship. She avoids me like the plague, and kisses my younger sister’s a**.

I have five siblings. I’ve always been the odd ball out. The one that got picked on, at my mother’s instigation. She instigated the horrible physical abuse I received from my father as well. Not every time, but often enough.

I was raised in total dysfunction. When I was old enough to move out of the house (I was actually kicked out of the house, to be completely honest) I made a promise to myself that I would never stoop to my parents level. And I didn’t , or haven’t.

However, after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 25, I shrunk to the words of my mother, “You are no good for nothing”, “No man is ever going to want you”, “You’re nothing but a jezebel”. I could go on and on about the words she put on me. Like a curse, I feel her words put a curse on me. And they’re slowly breaking.

I believe my past has only made me stronger. I am not the victim people want me to be. I used to feel sorry for myself, but not anymore. I’ve taken my life back, and I don’t regret the things I’ve been through. It’s made me who I am today. It’s also given me gifts I didn’t know I had. Especially my ability to read people. And I am learning that if it feels “off”, don’t question it. Just walk away.

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