The Wiccan Christian

Hope, Healing and Happiness in Trauma Recovery

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Welcome to The Wiccan Christian. Iā€™m sure many people wonder, ā€œWhat exactly does that mean?ā€ The truth is, Iā€™m not sure thereā€™s an official definition. If there is, I suppose thatā€™s what I am. Hi, my name is Cindy. I created this blog to be something like a diaryā€”a place to share my thoughts, favorite quotes, Bible verses, spiritual reflections, and the little things Iā€™ve learned along the way. Some of these ideas are my own. Others have come from people whose words stayed with me long after I heard them. Together, theyā€™ve helped shape the person I am today. I wonā€™t promise that this blog will be perfectly organized because, quite honestly, Iā€™m not an organized person. What I can promise is honesty. My hope is that by sharing my experiences, someone else might feel understood. Maybe youā€™ll see a piece of your own story in mine. I believe that sharing our stories takes away fear, replaces judgment with understanding, and reminds us that none of us are truly alone. Iā€™ve lived through some incredibly beautiful moments, and Iā€™ve also experienced some of lifeā€™s deepest wounds. Those experiences have left scars that may never completely disappear, but they have also shaped my strength, my faith, and my compassion for others. I donā€™t define myself by what Iā€™ve been through. I define myself by the fact that Iā€™m still here, still growing, still learning, and still believing there is hope. Iā€™m a survivor. Thank you for stopping by. I hope youā€™ll stay awhile, and I hope something you read here brings you comfort, encouragement, or simply reminds you that someone else understands. Welcome.

šŸ˜‚ Which One? šŸ¤”

How did you meet your significant other?

I was married and divorced twice. I guess Iā€™ll just answer the question about both.

My first husband, we actually met at an AA meeting. Or, more so, after the meeting. Everybody went to the local coffee shop after the meeting and that was the first time I actually had a conversation with him.

No. No whistles or balloons. Pretty simple. (He did drive awfully fast on that motorcycle trying to catch me at home after I left the coffee shop though). I specifically remember this because he actually passed me he was riding so fast, and I donā€™t think he even realized it was me he had passed. He beat me to my house. He was very polite. Asked for my phone number and said heā€™d like to take me out for dinner sometime. I obliged and told him to give me a call.

That marriage lasted fifteen (15) years. I donā€™t think it was ever supposed to end, but I did some really stupid things during an episode of mania, and this was one of my ā€œstupidā€ things.

I divorced my first husband, then met my second husband at a bar, again, in a period of mania. Once the mania disappeared I sunk into a deep depression. My dad had also passed away, and I guess I wasnā€™t prepared for that. I Drank a lot. And Slept a lot. And Drank a lot. And Again, made some stupid decisions.

That marriage only lasted four years. Why I was so stuck on a marriage that only lasted four years is beyond me. I definitely had a dependency problem. Or, I didnā€™t recognize that he also had narcissistic traits. But I think everybody has traits at some point in their life. That doesnā€™t necessarily make them a narcissist.

The hardest part with my second husband is he liked to give me ā€œthe silent treatmentā€. A lot. It reminded me of my mother. So I always felt he was so unhappy with me. I couldnā€™t take the silence anymore. He was really good at it. So I went and stayed at a friendā€™s house to give him some time to think. Maybe miss me?

No, he contacted me a month later and said he wanted a divorce. I obliged him. Again, leaving everything I owned behind for him (I did that with my first husband too). Basically, they walked right over me in the divorceā€™s. And I just let them.

But you know, Iā€™ve been rich and still unhappy. And Iā€™ve been poor, but actually more stable.

But I do still daydream about winning a settlement from a few big online companies. Still dreaming šŸ’­

Doesnā€™t hurt to dream.

I hope Everybody has a beautiful day.

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