The Wiccan Christian

Hope, Healing and Happiness in Trauma Recovery

I woke up to an interesting text this morning. It was “Joe”, telling me not to contact him anymore and that he’s blocking me.

What prompted this? I caught him in a lie. I don’t know why he lied. I just know he lied. And since I now have proof of what kind of person he can be, it answers all my questions.

I think “Joe” is a person with classic narcissistic personality disorder. I never knew how to recognize it before, until I posted about some of my experiences in this blog and received a very kind comment. Something about that comment woke me up. So I started paying more attention to things. And yes, looking back I am recognizing classics signs of NPD.

Gaslighting was a perfect word for it. I needed somebody else to tell me and confirm what I already suspected. But couldn’t prove.

Anyway, that’s history now and I can move through life accordingly without hesitation.

Does it bother me to receive a text like that? Of course it does. But it also comes as a relief. I did or do love him and was prepared to go to battle for him with my friends and family. I knew if I continued to hang around him I might be faced with an ultimatum that I was seriously preparing for. He fixed the whole problem for me.

I knew there was a reason why I was holding back from answering his relationship question. Maybe even procrastinating on an answer too. Because I really do love him…. Or I should say the version of him he showed me. Now I know, it was all fake.

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2 responses to “I Cringe At The Word Narcissist, But Sometimes There Is No Better Word”

  1. Cyngsoul70 Avatar

    I’m just so glad to have my own spirit back. Who would have known this kind of stuff goes on? Well, it probably goes on a lot more than we know. People just can’t prove it.
    “Gaslighting”, that’s exactly what he was doing. And I couldn’t see it before because of my mental health issues mixed with chemicals.
    The funny thing about it is I know he’s chewing on something regarding morals and values. Oh, I asked if we had the same morals and values. Along with the issues of trust, communication, compatibility. Must’ve made him think twice.
    I guess he felt he couldn’t meet my expectations. That just tells me how far I’ve come. Six (6) years ago I went running back to him, several times, crying.

    Like

  2. Maria Appleby Avatar
    Maria Appleby

    Joe’s at the curb where he belongs.

    I totally relate to “loving the version we were shown.”

    Sometimes, I think we also love the version we hope they will become.

    Liked by 1 person

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