The Wiccan Christian

I’m not even going to call him by his fake name anymore. From now on he is known as Him and He. Those are his pronouns. 😁

I still cry really hard at night. From all the trauma I endured those two years. I can tell you what I want to compare it to. I want to compare it to being enslaved. Sexually at first. And if you couldn’t perform any longer. Not because you’ve got the problem. But chances are somebody else does.

Anyway, yes, I do cry. When I think about how someone can be so demeaning and cruel. I just can’t imagine it. I mean, those type of people are not anybody I want to be known to hang around. They’re just not nice people.

It is true that people will do anything for that drug. A person will sell his soul. I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it. Loss. I’m experiencing it now.

I talked to my daughter about the situation between Him and I. To keep this simple, I’ll just say I’m no longer allowed over to their house until they’re feeling better about the situation. They know I can’t be trusted right now. I am very vulnerable right now.

My personal feeling about it is I feel I CAN manage it. I don’t want to take anybody home with me. When I’m offered I don’t suck on it for an hour before passing it along 🤪.

I mean, I can rationalize and minimize, but the truth is these people harmed me psychologically. And that’s really what this discussion is about. I don’t think I’ll ever heal from that completely. People with mental illnesses never get better. Stress makes them worse. The longer they hang onto stress, the more debilitating their mental health is going to become.

You know, if I think about it that way, I suppose I could sue. …..

I could so see him paying me each month a large sum of money because of my accident and that will be my compensation from him for what he has done to me.

And I already know, he’s going to pretend that he doesn’t even know what I’m talking about.

But, I also know he’ll pay. 💰

Right dear??

These are always how my blogs go. Unorganized and very often unfinished thoughts on paper. That’s even to happen when you feel betrayed or overwhelmed.